A Bitter Release

 Heat beating down upon the pavement,

as we go about our day like every other.

Life’s fragility the last thing in our minds,

until we receive news that makes our hearts stop.

The air grows thin as thoughts grow frantic;

their presence seems fresh in our minds.

Was it a day, a week, a month since we last checked?

How is it today he could have taken his last breath?

Acquaintances, good friends, and family alike,

gather in solemn solace on this dreary night.

Some cry, some talk softly, and some completely silent.

All unable to comprehend this loss of life.

The loss of life is tragic in the most general of senses,

but even worse when taken by one’s own hand.

We struggle to understand the pain amongst our grief.

Something plaguing him so deeply he needs that kind of release.

Alas, we only have our memories of this man now.

A strong and kind man dismantled by grief and agony.

His own life taken away from him first and foremost,

but taken from the ones he loved and loved him in return.

Amidst our pain we do not see the greater picture.

Our struggle seems singular and alone,

until we’re gone and leave everyone at a standstill.

Left now with only pain and sadness to see to.

Goodbye to a good man with a good heart.

We wish you well on what sees to you next.

A place in our hearts we shall reserve for you,

Until we can in the end see you next in all of our eternal reset.

A Toxic Life

Cloudy skies flow tenderly through the twilight expanse;

the smell of impending rain invading the air.

Hearts beating to the thoughts of pondering minds.

The moon gleams through the drifting smoke of a cigarette.

Old wounds smolder and drift away like ash,

while fists are clenched tight and tears stream freely.

Time washes away all along with the acid rain.

Lost souls huddled in a corner with a hope and a cigarette.

Shelter nowhere to be found in this dismal place,

hoods covering gaunt faces and restless eyes.

The insignificant flame will not seem to die out,

for the selfless ones and their slowly dwindling cigarette.

Each step towards salvation is another wicked trial.

The cool night wind howling against a frail will.

One last inhalation before the pulsing ember finally dies,

they exhale the dying breath of their meager cigarette.

Wayward Affairs

Tainted tears fill this ocean sized void where despondency festers.

The pounding of temperamental tidal waves billowing down upon the heart,

bringing about a sense of dreadfully wretched self-loathing.

Each day becoming a reverie of the things hoped for;

each night plummeting into murky expanses of the mind.

Drifting along aimlessly within a vessel built solely of trepidation.

Each fleeting second rips apart a dissipating soul.

The fairer ones seduce like lusty eyed sirens desperate for the crash;

the intrepid ones scoff at his opposition with crude disdain.

Attempts to take it all in stride fracture an already battle-weary soul.  

Yet he sets sail upon his ship of broken dreams when twilight dawns,

desperately seeking a companion to navigate these plagued waters.

Life’s Eternal Journey

Awakened  again

destinies gates beckon.

We pass through anew.

Waterfalls of sand

topple over shattered pasts.

Cloth bridging the gap.

The glistening sand,

like a countless diamond sea.

Heat blinds the senses.

Ruins of past abound;

the ancestors guide our paths.

Plunge now to darkness.

Glide through emptiness,

a parched ocean beckons thee.

Scarves dangle carefree.

Move quickly one must.

Friends now encased in stone,

avoid their red gaze.

Sacred ground descried.

Bygone tragedy glistening bright,

warmth to bitter cold.

Snow and sand churning,

quiet steps against bitter wind.

Travelers now weary.

Freezing limbs quiver,

As all friends fall from the sky.

We fall to the ground.

Robes slick with ice,

past spirits grant one last gift.

One last journey child.

Burst into pure bliss,

flying amongst the clouds.

Scarves shine bright.

Reach the mountain peak,

your purpose now fulfilled.  

Dawn white unto you.

A new soul is born,

a falling star of new life.

Guide these young kindly.

Now the sun rises.

Shine upon a new journey,

to tell a new tale.

Sometimes We all Feel a Bit Unsure

When unsure of something, it's easy to become frustrated.
When frustrated, assumptions begin to form.
Assumptions fueled by confusion and frustration are almost always negative.
As the mind fills with negativity, the heart grows heavy.
When the heart becomes too heavy, hope begins to dwindle.
Once the last shred of hope dissipates, the drive to care fades.
Once there is no reason to care, the mind becomes jaded.
Once jaded, the mind severs it's connection to the heart.
As the mind is freed from emotional persuasion, the heart can no longer assume.
Since the heart can no longer assume, the mind begins to reason.
Through reason, the answer begins to form.
As the answer becomes clear, the frustration dissipates.
When frustrated no more, the answer can be embraced.
After embracing the answer, the reason for being unsure is exposed:
The answer was known from the start, but the mind became blinded by the heart.

The morosely comical thing is that although the heart blinded the mind, it is ultimately the only thing that will allow the truth to be seen once broken and battered enough. As we blind ourselves to the answers we already know in an attempt to keep from being wounded, we unknowingly begin the process of hurting ourselves until the blindfold upon the mind is finally lifted. The heart cannot protect the mind, nor the mind the heart. The only way to truly come away unscathed is to stop attempting to find reasons for why something is and just accept the fact that it is. Pondering upon the things you cannot change does nothing but break you down and turn you into a bitter person that will always be searching for an answer to something that does not exist. When unsure in life, the best thing to do is to leave what you want out of the equation and embrace what is. Once this can be accomplished, you will never be left unsatisfied again.

-Kyle

Putting the Pieces Together

He sits there, precariously edging towards the abandonment of his own mind.

Striving for the subjective rights, while attempting to stray from the universal wrongs.

Looking back within his mind reveals a boy from the past clinging on to the present.

All but beginning to question who he was, who he is, and who he will become.

Luminescent bulbs flickering on and off as to say he isn’t wholly safe here.

Not quite afraid of the change of scenery, but petrified of the change of minds.

A faux pas between close friends leading to a fatal doubt permeating from inside out.

Past times seeming like separate lifetimes, memories too surreal to forget.

A pitiful union of heart and mind progressively worsening while trudging onward.

Standing upon the foundation of a childlike mindset amidst the ghastly horrors abound.

The ideals being pursued so convoluted, he questions what it is he even seeks.  

Longing notions of amour digging at his pride like tiny splinters buried deep within the skin.

He talks about change as inevitable, his heart shuttering incredulously at the thought.

Brutal contest between a child and a man leaves behind a tattered and torn psyche.

The boy has claimed many victories in battle, the man positioning himself to win the war.

The crippling weakness subsides as the terms of surrender are delegated.

The man has won, but is still willing to give the boy one last chance at redemption.

Coexistence is ideal, although accomplishing such a task seeming a mere pipe dream.

Signing the mental treatise, the boy begins to vanish with a look of grave disdain.

The reflection in the mirror no longer that of a boy, but a man of confidence.

Moving out of the shadows, he is finally ready to take a stand.

No more side steps to avoid conflict, his eyes reflecting the change of heart.

Simultaneously breaking down the barriers while repairing bridges burned.

Born anew, he walks to the doorstep of his blossoming hopes of love once more.